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Girls say, "Ganyan naman ang mga boys magaling lang sila sa umpisa." When I met my husband, akala ko iba sya sa mga 'yun dahil sinabi nya na ibahin ko daw sya'. But its just what I thought. I don't know what happened or what went wrong he started saying bad comments to me. Alam mo na, words na hindi mmo ineexpect na sa taong pinakamamahal mo pa nanggaling. Sabi nga kapag may nararamdaman akong masakit, sabihin ko daw agad but then nung nagsabi ako sa kanya na may masakit sa akin, sinabihan nya akoo na "maarte" ako tska "reklamadora". Hindi ko na nga alam kung saan ko ilulugar ang sarili ko eh. Akala nya, nagbibiro ako. Madalas akong mahilo sa taxi. He knows that. Last August 22, 2008 (Friday), last day ng training namin sa Soft Skills with John. I think almost an hour kami naghintay kasama best friend ko at saka husband ko ng taxi. Sa sobrang tagal, naghintay ako sa kabilang street, dun sa street across naman sila ng best friend ko. Naiinip na ako, mala-late na kami, ang init pa, kaya ako na nagpresinta na ako na lang dun sa kabilang street. I left him with my best friend on the other side. After 30 minutes, I think of waiting for stupid cab. At last may nagsakay din sa amin. I don't know if he forgot that I have a problem with cab or something that he was sitting at the back with my best friend and he didn't insist to change seats with me. And so, all the way to the training, all the AC scent and wind was blowing on me. I don't know what happened next but when I woke up, nandun na kami sa baba ng building kung saan kami magttraining. He woke up and I was so dizzy to walk. Hindi ko alam kung alam nya kasi sobrang madali kami dahil late na kami but I stood up and pinili ko maglakad. Pinilit ko maglakad, pinilit ko kasi sabi nya, umaarte na naman ako. Sabi ko nga sa kanya, na mauna na sila. Hindi ko naman kasi talaga kaya magmadali at the same time na hindi ako okay and gusto ko sumuka.  Pagdating sa training room, he was nagging at me kasi sabi nya nag-iinarte ako. I am not feeling okay and then he was nagging at me.  I grab my bag again and then I transfer to another table and then ayaw nyang mapahiya sa ibang tao. He can not keep quiet. After ko lumipat ng table, I got my mug and then I went to the pantry to get some water. I need to drink. I know I need to drink up.  He went out and then he's nagging again. I told him na hindi naman ako lilipat ng pwesto kung hindi sya magna-nag sa akin. I am not feeling okay. I am so dizzy until I fell down. Dinala nila ako sa clinic and then he was telling me  at that time na ibagsak ko na daw yung training and maghanap na lang kami ng ibang work. What a stupid suggestion? Even if I am not okay. Even if I am dizzy and I want to cry. Pinilit ko na maging okay sa harap nya. Kasi sabi nya maarte ako. Hindi ko na nga alam kung saan ako lulugar. And then after 2 days, he realized that I was telling him the truth. I felt so dizzy and it was not a joke. How stupid, isn't it?
I wish he can read this. I don't know if one day I break him up para ma-realize nya yung value that maybe, one day magbago yung ugali nya sa kin. Mas okay pa nga yung dati na kahit sobrang-sobra sya mag-sorry kahit napatawad ko na sya nagso-sorry pa din  sya. I hope mabasa nya 'to. I hope ma-realize nya yung halaga ko sa kanya. Mahirap na din kasi siguro kung mauna akong mag-give up bago pa nya mabasa to.